Thursday, May 15, 2014

Ten things I never told my mom


Today I am sharing a few secrets that I never told my mother.

In no particular order.

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I puffed on my first cigarette when I was about 10 years old. My friend took one from her grandma's pack and we smoked it in the back yard.



When I was in junior high I thought it was neat that I got attention for having a sprained ankle, so I rubbed my ankle against the edge of our cement stairs and tried to make it sore enough to need an ace wrap. (it didn't work)



 Once, I took $10 from my mom's purse, and I let my brother get blamed for it.


In 9th grade, at our last gymnastics meet, I told the coach that I was sick, because I was tired of only competing against one other girl in competitions. It ruined my chances of getting acknowledged at the year-end athletes banquet.



When I was a cheerleader, the captain approached me and said that the other cheerleaders complained that I smelled bad and maybe I needed to wash my uniform or take a shower more often. I was crushed.



One time I got so mad at a family down the street that me and a friend snuck out, when she was spending the night, and dumped a whole bunch of kitchen spices and condiments into their gas tank.



  When I was in high school, I joined some classmates at Godfather's pizza after a football game. Weeks later I found a nasty note in my purse that some of the girls had written to me that night, in my own notebook.



When I was left at a concert in 11th grade I got into a van with some "roadies". I thought they were going to take me home, but the driver got on the ramp to the Interstate and was heading out of town. They stopped and let me out of the van after I started freaking out. I ran, in the dark, for nearly a mile (or seemed like it), to a hotel, and called my father to pick me up.

I used to smoke in my bedroom and blow the smoke out through the window screen and when that got old I just took out the window screen and climbed out to smoke on the front porch.


My father had a collection of dirty paperback books that he kept in the bathroom cabinet, under the sink. I used to take them to my room and read them. This is how I learned to speed read.

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